The Golden Cricket - A Thieves Guild
Huzzah! Secret Santicore volume 2 has hit the interwebs, and that's where my entry ended up. The request was the following:Dear Santicore, I would like...
Five to nine (or more?!) paragraphs detailing the infrastructure and operation of a Thieves’ Guild that is controlled by a trio of women at least one of which is a widow with children whose family knows nothing of her job outside of the home. You are encouraged to explore all of the details and devise details to your heart’s content, but it is important that the women leading the Thieves’ Guild be regarded in their daily lives as unassuming and nonthreatening women whom nobody would ever suspect of being the masterminds of a nefarious underground organization.
I had so much fun writing this. Hopefully you have a lot of fun reading it and maybe even using it.
The Golden Cricket
Backstory Flavor
Once upon a time there was a thief named Marceline. She was
young, beautiful and quick of mind, body and tongue. Her exploits are many, and
best told another time, but never forget that it was Marceline the thief who
stole the Holy Brand of Malthus from Redwater Monastery, recovered the Stones
of Kismet from the belly of the gorgon Josira, broke the Florian Cartel's
Stranglehold of Greenport, and was rumored to be the actual founder the Half-Moon Bread bakeries.
After retiring from a life of crawling through dark places
in the world she set up shop somewhere in the mountains outside the capitol
city, and with the aid of her gang The Quick Thirty, made the highways and
byways pricy and uncomfortable for people with coin. Over time people started
calling her Queen Marceline of the King's road. But this was all more than 200
years ago and probably not what you've paid me for. Or so you'd think. You see,
at some point ole Marceline got her hands on a wish. Some say it were a fairy
that did it, others say it were the ghost of old Malthus himself what blessed
her, but any way you cut it, she got that wish and used it to wish for eternal
life.
Shame of it though was that she forgot to ask for eternal
youth too. Even though her grip on the gold of the wealthy stayed tight, her
body went the way all ours go eventually, sagging' 'n wrinkling 'n withering to
frailty, but Queen Marceline couldn't die. Over time she grew so small and so
frail that she turned into a cricket. But that didn't stop her, or even slow
her down. It's said she struck a deal with Fate herself 'cause there are
objects on this world Fate wants but can't get at. Objects that need to be
stolen. So Queen Marceline started up an organization that could help Fate get
what she wanted and it runs, in the shadows, to this day.
Fate's Demand
Yes, Marceline is really a cricket. And yes, Fate promised
her her youth if she could acquire a number of items, but the goddess had one
demand: Marceline must be assisted in running her guild by three women in
different stages of their life. The Virgin, The Mother, and The Crone. Only the
best are selected to fill each role and as a woman transitions from one life
phase to the next, she is not guaranteed the next position of leadership
regardless of how well she did previously. If the stars align and the three
positions are held by a blood line (mother (Crone), daughter (Mother) and
granddaughter (Virgin)), Fate smiles upon the guild and their heists never
fail, but this has only happened twice in the guild's history.
Of the Virgin, Fate requires the candidate is a virgin and
can menstruate. Of the Mother, Fate requires the candidate has at least one
child in her care, of her blood, that has not yet "come of age". Of
the Crone, Fate requires the candidate to be older than 70. When a woman no
longer meets these requirements Fate notifies both Marceline and the woman.
Most of the leaders transition out of their roles willingly and with
celebration, remaining respected members of the organization and hopeful they
will be called to serve again.
Marceline has her own requirements of aptitude for each leadership
candidate that change with the times and current needs of the guild, but one
always remains the same: The Files.
The Files
To be considered for one of the three leadership roles in
the guild each woman must commit at least twelve crimes of sufficient notoriety
that remain unsolved or unsolvable. They must then provide Marceline with proof
and a signed confession for each. These crimes are conducted outside the
guild's normal pursuits and each woman knows they will be given to the
authorities if it becomes necessary to protect the guild and brand them as an
unaffiliated thief. When a woman transitions out of a leadership role, her file
is publicly burned before all the guild and her full member protections are
restored. Thus, to be considered for another role, fresh crimes will need to be
committed.
Structure
The guild itself has no official name, but a small cricket
made of gold is left at the site of any major heists causing many among the
authorities to call them "The Golden Cricket". Rank and file members
of the guild collectively refer to one another as "The Rabble", have
no fixed hierarchy and focus exclusively on the skills and results a person
brings and not their skin, creed or the parts between their legs. The fixed
nature of the leadership roles and other initiatives skews female membership
higher than other thieves guilds (making it a rough 50/50), but this is only a
side effect and has never been a goal.
For low level jobs, individuals or small groups of people (1-4)
from the Rabble are tapped on a job by job basis. For mid and high level jobs
the leaders create gangs of 12, trusted, members that last only as long as the
job. Marceline, with connections developed over hundreds of years, keeps the
guild flush with work and at any given time each leader will be overseeing 1 to
3 gangs of 12.
While it would be avoided at all costs, the guild has the
coin and connections to field a small army of 400-600 thieves and mercenaries
in as little as three days. Because a reveal of this scope would necessitate
the guild going dark for at least a generation (and probably relocating) it has
never been attempted.
Services and Specialties
·
Acquisitions - Specifically goods and information. Kidnappings for ransom are
avoided and human or humanoid slave trafficking is expressly forbidden.
·
Poison - Specifically those dealing with sleep and paralysis.
·
Setups - When they're done with the target the city guards will have thought
they did all the work and pat themselves on the back for catching such a
criminal.
·
Neutral Ground - The guild operates a number of safe houses
and havens where the rival parties of other guilds and groups that operate
outside of society can meet to discuss their differences, come to terms or
deliver ultimatums. By remaining neutral and providing top notch locations and
security, Marceline's guild has made quite a bit of their coin and connections
this way.
·
Half-Moon Bread - Before aging to the point of becoming a
cricket, Marceline set up a number of bakeries called "Half-Moon
Bread" in every medium and large city in the land. She had always thought
it would be fun to run a legitimate business and greatly enjoyed baking
herself, favoring cinnamon rolls and turnovers. Although the bakeries were
started with "ill-gotten gains" they operate completely on the
up-n-up (no money laundering or funny business!). The bakeries actively feed
the hungry and forgotten for free, and their open charity with the poor has
created inroads into a number of religious organizations. Upper class citizens
shun the bakeries because of how welcomed the unwashed are, but good,
hardworking, salt-of-the-earth type lower and middle class families love them.
Over the centuries, most of the bakeries have changed their name away from
Half-Moon Bread, but the bakeries, mill and transport services that support
them are all still owned by Marceline and provide many of the guild members
with a legitimate occupation.
·
Forgeries and False Identities - The guild's primary service is a sort of
witness protection program for society's outcasts, usually young women in bad
situations. They take these women, clean them up, spend time polishing them up,
and depending on their aptitudes and willingness, fabricate back stories and
connections for them. That prostitute who killed her pimp is now a simple
farmer's or merchant's daughter with witnesses and documents that attest to
that fact. Many of the women (and men too) end up marrying relatively
well-to-do individuals (shopkeepers, up and coming councilmen, rising stars in
the city guard, etc). While many of the early "chance meetings"
between the future couples are arranged by the guild (and kept secret from both
parties) Marceline has found that the relationships are stronger and more...
useful, if the eventual marriages are never forced. This helps keep eyes and
ears throughout all levels of society and should favors ever be needed, the
individuals who received a new identity and new life are happy to do most
anything for their old sponsor.
The Crone
The guild's current Crone is Lady Isadora Dargetos. She is the widow of a ranking ambassador and
in her younger days served as The Virgin. She is a renowned patron of the arts,
thrower of phenomenal parties, and considered by many in upper class to be THE
arch-maven of taste, style and polite sensibility. Her handwriting is
exceptional and her forgeries are divine. She knows absolutely everybody (and
most of their secrets) and delights in using her intimate knowledge of the
social calendars to plan targeted heists. If you need something or access to
someone in a city, Lady Isadora can provide.
The Mother
The guild's current Mother is Angelika Huxton. She is recently widowed (her husband having been
kicked in the head by a horse) and owns and runs a 750 acre ranch outside of
town with about 200 head of cattle and 100 head of sheep. She has six children,
the youngest of which is 2 and the oldest is 17. Coming of age ceremonies take
place at the age of 15 in these lands, so assuming her youngest child doesn't
die, she will be the guild's Mother for the next 13 years. The ranch is mostly
self sufficient, with ample acreage dedicated to farming and vegetable gardens
and plenty of heavily wooded areas where a person could get lost for weeks. 30
to 50 ranch and farm hands work the land and livestock and guard the house. Of
those ~1d10 are actual guild associates.
Demascus Slade, a
real mountain of a man, and Angelika's husband's "first cousin"
(i.e., forged and sent by the guild), came to live on the ranch and help
Angelika keep things running after her husband passed. Demascus is scary good
with knives (throwing, stabbing and whittling) and an absolute master of making
and detecting poisons.
Cooper Tinsides
is an old prospector who lives up in the mountains, coming down every so often
to trade some of the metal he digs up for fresh supplies. He stays at the ranch
for 3 to 5 days before heading back up to his claims. Some of the ranch hands
don't like him too much, but it's only on account of how bad he smells whenever
he first arrives. He can tell a hell of a story and Angelika insists he be well
treated because of how much raw gold and silver he trades for the supplies and
services. The truth of the matter is that Cooper lives up in Marceline's old
bandit lair and acts as her current proxy. He collects news and information and
delivers orders and assignments from Marceline. Cooper really does prospect,
but only enough to know all the ins and outs of the mining and panning trade.
Most of the ore is melted down booty and this facade launders a hell of a lot
of gold. His requests for secrecy are well respected on all fronts because of
his loud and frequently proclaimed fear of claim jumpers. So far, no one that's
tried to tail Cooper has made it past the foothills of the mountains without a
red smile across their throat.
Each weekend Angelika goes into the city to run a number of
stalls in a farmer's market where she sells meats, grains, vegetables, honey
and soap. The quality of the goods she sells is quite high, but she keeps her
prices low and is well liked and respected throughout the capitol. The captain
of the town guard himself went so far as to offer her a few men to help keep
the ranch running after her husband passed on, but as Demascus was "on his
way", Angelika politely declined the offer. When in town, Angelika takes
up lodging in Black Dragon Inn and
Tavern.
The Virgin
The guild's current Virgin, Fiona Sinclair has eyes of fire and a heart of steel. She was a
swashbuckler in the company of Suulo the Blade who traveled through the ruins
in Witchfire Mire and slew a black dragon. Fiona came away from the adventure
with the dragon's head and a quarter of its hoard, three weeks before her 22nd
birthday. She came back to the capitol city and opened up the Black Dragon Inn and Tavern because she
had always wanted to run a tavern with her mother.
Fiona's mother Maple,
was a brewer's daughter and spent much of her early life as a waitress in a
small inn at a crossroads in the middle of nowhere. After being beaten and
raped by the owner one night, she killed him and proudly confessed to the deed
when questioned the next day. Before she could be hanged, Marceline's guild
disappeared her and set her up with a new name and life in the capitol. She
never married and worked the counter at the Half-Moon Bread bakery and raised
her daughter from that terrible night, in the thick of the guild. Maple makes
delicious apple cider and always told Fiona it was her dream to one day run a
tavern, so when adventuring paid off Fiona made that dream a reality.
Fiona enjoys being "shocking" to the members of
high society. She uses her money and fame to get into places of wealth and
refinement and then does something lewd or disruptive for a laugh, paying off
any consequences with her "dragon gold". She dresses in a masculine
fashion, wearing trousers but keeping her long hair in an unkempt ponytail with
foolishly expensive ribbons. She enjoys swearing and arm wrestling and recently
created a number of artistic works by covering her naked body in paint and
rolling across some canvas. Lady Isadora Dargetos found the paintings
mesmerizing and held a gala opening for them called "Colors of
Adventure", and commissioned several more. On the opening night of the
show a number of important documents were stolen during a break in at the
mayor's house while he was in attendance. No connection has been suspected of
course.
The Black Dragon Inn and Tavern feels cozy in a rough and
tumble sort of way. Everything is on the up-n-up with it and no illegal
activities take place within its walls. The food is good, the beds are clean,
and the cider is beyond compare. The town guard and adventuring types frequent
the location to drink and talk and gawk at the black dragon head above the
central fire place. The tavern pulls in great bards and loud festive crowds
every weekend and Saturday nights are a real blow out. The place is packed,
shoulder to shoulder, and the rooms are always booked solid. Recently, the
captain of the Night Watch, a strong, good looking guy with olive skin and grey
eyes, has decided he's in love with Fiona and has been coming around much more
frequently... exactly like she planned.
